Grad School Allegory

Some friends of mine and I recently watched a DVD of a production of the opera, "Dialogues of the Carmelites" (1957) by Francis Poulenc based on the Martyrs of Compiègne.  It's somewhat modernist, being almost completely in recitative with occasional ensembles.  Unfortunately, the DVD forewent subtitles since the production used the English libretto, but can anyone ever understand a soprano in any language?  I understand the libretto is deep and thoughtful ("Dialogues..."), so I'm sorry we missed out on that.  Still, it ends with a most heartbreaking scene.  I could not stop thinking about it, so I looked up a few different productions of that scene on YouTube and decided I liked this one.  Watch it once and tell me it doesn't move you.  Yes, that is the sound of a guillotine that repeats 16 times for these 16 nuns.  Listen to the texture of the music thin down from chorus to quartet, trio, duet, solo.  It's tragic!

And then I realized it works as an allegory for our sad lives as PhD students.  Read on for my translation.  And excuse the sacrilege.  It's just satire.